I murdered the dance floor call the cops
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Vodka?
Forever.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just want nice things and good sex
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
