I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize