Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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