sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
