im about as happy as oj after his trial
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
