Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
