let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize