do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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