the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
