I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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