so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
