The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
