lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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