We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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