Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize