try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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