I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
