Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just had sex on a roof
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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