Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
