P.S. I can't hear my feet
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
