i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
