this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
