There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
