Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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