Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
