Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
