Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize