I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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