Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
