i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
