She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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