But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize