i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
