great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize