You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
only if we run a train.
done.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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