would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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