I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
