He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Come see our sink grown plant.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
