You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
