so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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