And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
