If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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