their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
