some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
