A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
