The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
