those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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