I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
