Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
