1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
