why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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