Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
