Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
