I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
