I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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