For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
