Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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