So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
