so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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