We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
