Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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